Good Heavens

I guess Patrick was talking about me not posting for so many days. Augh!! How did that happen. My mother has been here all week. I was busy, had a very big funeral yesterday. And it has been extremely hot.

Enough whining.

Things are 0kay... I am making progress, slow but sure. I also got my photo thing to work finally - it connects to all the extremely honest pictures on Flickr.

Food is fine. Exercise is fine. My progress is slow but sure.

Yesterday I divided my jumping and managed to do 400 in the morning and 400 at night. So... I know it is still a ways from what I am aiming for, but it is more than I've felt comfortable doing in one run. Knees still feeling good. Lots of stretching.

I am more in my body now. Aware of my posture. More aware of what my body is actually feeling. The diet is great - it seems to have cut out all the external influences that were whipping me into energy or taking me down. Although I have kept coffee, everything else seems like it is giving me slow, steady energy.

I like it very much. It feels "clean."

Yesterday I was in a bakery, looking in the glass case at plates of cookies and brownies and the like. I wasn't even slightly tempted. Odd. I left with a small thing of yogurt and a hard boiled egg. (Vermont bakeries are eclectic.)

My journey is bringing me back from a pretty lost place where my body didn't matter. Two years ago I kind of felt like I was standing at the line of life and death. Not exactly a question of suicide, but rather of what the rest of my life would be. I chose life. Since that time it has been a slow but steady climb back into a body and a life that is happy and healthy. My progress has been slower sometimes than I want. There is so much to balance in my day - single mom, two part time jobs, worries about money and the future, loneliness, and all that junky junk. But I have kept at it.

Today, after I did my exercises I walked down to the thrift store (that's a used clothing store) and there was a Brooks Brothers black silk evening gown, with the original tag still on it ($188). It was beautiful. Simple, elegant, and sleeveless. I tried it on and it fit like a glove. It was $20 and I can't imagine where I am going to wear it. But it is in my closet.

Cheers.