


My son ordered a large pizza last night. Feta and garlic and sundried tomatoes. And cheese.
Before PCP my major protein was cheese.
So I indulged. I ate 2 huge slices. Yum. Very salty. Feta is salty. It was good. What can I say. I also had a couple of slices of cheese at the after church "treat" table. The other choices there were brownies and coffee cake.
Cheese.
Will I go back to it? Maybe in moderation. But I much prefer the way lean meat and fish makes me feel.
My body is unaddicted now and longing for good things. I want to keep it that way.
I haven't lost any weight this week. Actually I've gained, I think. At the doctor's office I actually weighed 145 - I've never weighed that little on my own scale. I was down to 148 - but now back to 150. Hard not to focus on the numbers.
Monday morning. Not much time left with you all. But the lifestyle is going to continue for me.
Okay serious indulgence today. I admit, confess, I am not hard enough on myself about the exercises. I am a wimp. But the diet I am very serious about actually. I have done some eating out but made good choices - only had a couple glasses of wine this whole time.
Today however, I had breakfast very early and then did my work stuff, including meeting with a dear man in my church who just found out he has lung and bone cancer. It was a long day and finally it was 4pm and I was driving the hour back to our apartment. I hadn't eaten anything all day. There was the restaurant. There was the menu. Dying of hunger was I. Ordered Fish and Chips. An indulgence.
It as great. Yum. Well done. Very crispy. Good fish. Then I got back in the car shaking my head at all the reports of how indulgences make you feel ill and sleepy and sick and all that. Not me, I thought. I have an iron stomach. Plus it was good.
15 minutes down the highway something inside began to rebel. It pushed it prodded it was very very annoyed at this heavy greasy lump of food. I felt waves of sleepiness, nausea, and general ickyness run through my body.
And I only ate about half of what was on the plate.
Man.
Man oh man.
Lesson learned.
Whew!