Speaking of religion, and Patrick's post about Zen Buddhism, I wanted to say that I am usually very quiet about my job. I always want to say "I'm not that kind of Christian!" Christians are so incredibly obnoxious and many of them are dangerous. I've been a pastor in small, liberal, elderly churches for the past 15 years and I've seen so much good stuff happen. Peaceful, loving things and people who find home and acceptance and all that. But the larger religion has become so out of touch with the simple, radical teachings of Jesus, that I left it at one point and am on the verge of leaving again. I was born into it - grandfather and father were both pastors. It is a world I know. But it is like trying to stop a thunderstorm with an umbrella. There is a force that takes hold in all organized religion - the force of tribalism - where people are more interested in who is in and who is out - than actual spiritual discipline and practice.
It makes me sad.
But I go on... today I'll lead a funeral for a good man, 85 years old, who walked all the time and fast, here and there and it was on one of those walks that he suddenly fell down and died. What a way to go. He was a humble soul - worked in the granite sheds as a carver of roses on gravestones. Had 4 kids. Married 61 years. Son of Spanish immigrants. So there are these times when I feel the purpose of it all...
What does this have to do with exercising. Not much. Sorry.
My exercising has been lackadasical. I do it but I know I'm not pushing myself. I've lost weight and I am in better shape but it is not exactly peak. I've got this month to face why I am so lazy, why I am so afraid of pushing myself to the limit.
It's time to face what is standing in my way.
There is a clarity that this program brings - the diet clears out all those numbing elements and the exercise makes me so aware of my body and the messages it is giving me. Now I need to bring that clarity to honestly address why I protect myself from going to the limit.
This month is going to be about the exercise.
Time to face the truth. Whatever it is. I'm ready to face it.
let's make this the best month of OUR LIVES. i was just going to e-mail you to make sure your in high spirits, IT'S BEEEN 5 daaays. THEN BAM, a post from deborah!
ReplyDelete28 more days ill be nothing. i'll push myself to the limit IF YOU WILL. i'll also stop slipping in the extra fruit serving thats been a staple of the last 4 days
Being "lazy" and being afraid of pushing yourself to the limit are two different things. Or maybe they aren't. Huh. Anyway, I don't think you're lazy, in the sense that you don't care enough to try, or that you don't want what you want. I think you're waking up to your body after a long time away from it. Know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteYou will see a big difference if you work hard these last few weeks. These are the weeks that 95% of exercisers and dieters never do because they're tired or think they're in good enough shape. DO THEM!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you know exactly what you need to do at this point, Deborah. Stay with that wisdom and see where it takes you. Let the mind relax, stay with the body and the breath. You are capable of more than you think you are!!
ReplyDeleteTo tell you the truth, I'd been so reluctant to do jumping.
ReplyDeleteIt was very recently that I learned to push myself harder.
It made a huge difference. When I push myself to my limit, I feel happy at the end. I found out that my body can do more than I think I can do.
I really hope that you would push yourself harder this last month and get the best out of this program !!!!
keep it going Deborah! one more month lets make it a good 1! you can do it!
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